March to April Mending Affirmations

I learned some little nuggets during my sabbatical. I hope you gain something from them.

1. When my pain is all I see, I lose sight of where God is in that pain.

2. I was created to be loved.

3. God chooses to listen. He loves to see my relationships through my eyes.

4. To see Jesus is to see man and God as one.

5. I am in the center of God’s love and purpose.

6. God can do unspeakable good out of unspeakable tragedies, but that doesn’t mean He orchestrates the tragedies.

7. Look around, Aisha. You need to enjoy the journey.

8. Even the “evil doers” are God’s children, and He’d like to redeem them too. The moment you condemn them to hell, is the moment you become the judge. You do not determine someone else’s worthiness in Christ.

9. Every act of kindness matters.

10. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through. You don’t ever have to do it alone.

11. You can’t wait for things to level out. You have to take each day as it comes. Every single day you unproductively wait for what you know what is to come is a day that you miss out on being productive. FIGHT. Sometimes that means cleaning your bathroom, doing your hair, going for a 2 mile run. Sometimes, oftentimes, it means giving a little bit more than you have to be okay.

12. Live by design not by default. Don’t ever get so egotistical in believing that you have control of your trajectory. If you judge things as “beneath you”, then you’re living by default, but if you walk into a place you can’t stand and do your work to the glory of the Lord every single day, then you are living by Design. It’s not about where you are physically. It’s where you are spiritually. Stand with Christ. Run with Him.

13. Withholding your presence cause you’re uncomfortable or something is new negatively impacts the environment. It’s selfish to not be out in the world fellowshipping.

14. How can you make your life more about someone else?

15. Life can be mending or messy. Take your pick.

16. God knows you better than you know yourself, and because He knows what you’re called to do, He’s giving you things that will strengthen your faith, courage, endurance/stamina, and spirit. But, they’re still for other people!

17. Life is happening for me.

18. You’re not going out into the world as a teacher. You’re going out as a student. That’s what a disciple is. You’re going out saying, “Hey I learned this, what’d you learn?” And you’re comparing notes. You’re not the expert. You’re not going out as the Lord.

19. Jesus tells you to go out and be a servant. That’s how you win people to Jesus. Not by manipulation or anything you could say or do. It’s by being a humble servant.

20. They lied. No relationship is 50-50. Some might feel like that, but if closely examined, you’ll see it’s 49-51 or vice versa. Sometimes relationships are 80-20, but you gotta be okay with that. Cause if you go into every relationship, friendship, or being an associate and say, “I get to do x, y, and z” then that changes your perspective and you don’t care what you get out of the relationship because you’re walking in it with the heart of Him who came before you.

21. Every struggle is a humbling experience. Don’t let your pride get in the way of making you believe you’ve got everything on your own.

22. Asking for help and actually positively receiving that help will be two different things.

23. Who were you before the fall?

24. “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23

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Who Were You Before the Fall?

My word! I’ve been MIA for a long while.

I mentioned in a previous post that I quit my job. I mentioned how okay I was with whatever direction my life took. That was true then, but the longer I stayed unemployed, I realized how not okay I was.

I ended up getting a job working 3rd shift at a homeless shelter that was only willing to work me as a volunteer until they wanted to finally pay me. After a couple of times of being duped, I quit. Things taken out of desperation rarely work out.

Then, I was hired as a substitute for the county I live in. Great! I get to work with kids, stretch my legs as a teacher. All good in theory, but children in real life are crafty. I will admit I lost my way (and my nerve) the first week, but by the second week I was prepared. I got really good at it and was recommended often. I enjoyed it and the kids enjoyed me, but I couldn’t afford to pay every single thing that I was responsible for, so yet again I went looking for something else to satisfy my financial needs.

Now, I work as a debt collector or “professional negotiator.” Either way, it’s about collecting money from people who are probably gonna use their credit card to avoid bad credit. Oh, the irony. I digress. All of this moving and shaking sounds like what? I’ll give you a hint. It starts with an O and ends with compensating.

Since October, I have been overcompensating with everything in my life. I’ve overcompensated with jobs, with church, with my finances, with family obligations all to cover up the fact that I was freaking out about a decision I made which seemed irreversible.

Admittedly, in my self-denial and self-pity, I became self-consumed. I checked out of the blog. I checked out of my friendships. I checked out mentally because why hold a conversation when it wasn’t about me? Consciously, that wasn’t my thought process, but it might as well have been. We all have our own stories. Some stories have a lot of highs and little lows. Other stories start out dipping low and maybe a few times get high. Most stories, I like to believe, fall somewhere in the middle. Whatever the case, I lost sight of the bigger picture. I lost sight of everything that once made me love my life.

Fortunately, Christ is real. The hole that took me years (this extends way before me leaving my job in October…more like when I accepted the position) to dig, will take some time to climb out of, but it’s not impossible. Brick by brick I am being pieced back together because Christ is the Redeemer. He is the Ultimate Fixer. I’ve been trying to do things how I want to do them because I thought I had the “best possible outcome.” That’s not true when you’re walking with God. He creates the best possible outcome. He determines my destiny.

My level of transparency in this post is intentional. I do myself, this blog, and my walk with God a great injustice if I don’t paint the entire picture. Life ain’t all rainbows, sunshine, and good feels. Sometimes it’s walking through the valley and keeping a brave face. Currently, I find myself actively battling my indifference towards every situation in my life.

So, where am I now? I’m sitting in my car reciting a question prompted by my manager this morning: “What made you successful in the beginning before a slump happened?” Truthfully, I have no freaking idea. I’m on a road to finding this vocation that everyone seems to think I have, and I’ll tell you what, I think I’m not where I’m supposed to be, and that truth makes me uncomfortable enough to move in the right direction.

It only took a drop…

and now I’m running over on all sides of my cup. Today, Papa isn’t just Papa. He is my family. He is my best friend. He is my husband. He is my everything. He is my God. My King. My LORD. He is every desire I have ever had fulfilled times 1000. He is the Love of all Loves. He is the heart of my world. Today, I got a quick flash of everything He is, and it left me speechless, mesmerized, giddy, and overwhelmed. My God.

My GOD.

A Gentle Reminder

God wants all of you all the time. He wants to see you flourish. He wants to hear about your day. He wants to know the desires of your heart. He loves you more than you could ever imagine or understand. He doesn’t want to be restricted in your life. He doesn’t want a part of your life. He wants to be your life. Spend more time with Him. Love Him. Invite Him to your day, to work, or on your car ride. Seek His Presence over ever waking moment of your life, and ask for His peace while you sleep. He is waiting for you to open up to Him.

“My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3:14-19‬ ‭MSG‬‬

No Limits

You choose every day. You choose what you do, how you respond, your behavior, what you wear, if you choose to dwell on what someone said or what they didn’t say. You can choose to let your life happen–only going from home to work and back again, or you can choose to be extraordinary. No limits exist for you except the ones you create. If you were to believe, honestly believe, that nothing is impossible with God, then would it matter that you are unconventional in your path? Could you then measure your successes and failures with another?

All experiences gear us up for a story. Is yours amazing? Worthwhile? Did you risk it all? Let your trials and your limitless God push you into a radical life like Jesus.